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Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut — that hardly deserves the death
Don’t try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself.

Don’t be melodramatic, please.

You can’t have it both ways—either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don’t. One or the other.

You’re greedy tonight.

You’re overestimating my self-control.

Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.

Of course, I’ll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it’s time for a change. Because I’m… tired of pretending to be something I’m not, Bella. I am not human

You weren’t going to let go. I could see that. I didn’t want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn’t convince you that I didn’t love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I’d moved on, so would you.

After all the thousand times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?

I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn’t want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!

You’re not asleep, and you’re not dead. I’m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.

Only you could be more important than what I wanted… what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I’ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heaven for that! It seems you can’t be safe, no matter how many miles
Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

My heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you.

I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul.

You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course… If you outgrew me—if you wanted something more—I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn’t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me.

I’ll earn your trust back somehow. It’s my final act.

Your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that.

If there was only some way to make you see that I can’t leave you. Time, I suppose, will be the way to convince you.

You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn’t actively tracking, I was… totally useless. I couldn’t be around my family—I couldn’t be around anyone. I’m embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me. It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too.

You’re wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it’s a joke.


Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.

Because she’d rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married.

So eager for eternal damnation.

Charlie… is probably not going to kill you, but he’s thinking about it.

Thank you. I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am. I will owe you for the rest of my… existence.

I’m a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don’t make the same mistake twice. I’m here until she orders me away.

I’ll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy. If you want, I can charge you interest.

There’s no hurry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.

Monsters are not a joke, Bella.


You know it’s out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?

If we could bottle your luck, we’d have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands.

I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years.

If I’d never left, you wouldn’t feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.

I don’t know how to phrase this properly. It’s going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I’ve come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous.

Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I’ll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help.

Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?

You aren’t the only one who’s been trapped in this house, you know.

The outside world holds no interest for me without you.

In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don’t really even exist. The future can’t hold them…

Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I’ll understand.

Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people.

If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?

It’s nothing, Bella. Jacob just has a good memory, that’s all.

I wasn’t about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.

I’d wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I’d run you back to the scene of the accident, and we’d stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.

I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you.

Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?

You aren’t exactly the best judge of what is or isn’t dangerous.

Well… don’t be offended, but you smell like a dog.

I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.

I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don’t think I’ll go so far again. It’s not worth it.

Must I always be the responsible one?

I prefer brunettes.

You’re quite adorable when you’re jealous. It’s surprisingly enjoyable.

You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours.

Holding grudges is not one of your many talents.

Are you trying to distract me? It’s working.

It gets easier. After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved.

Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires.

Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren’t in love with me?

I was rather under the impression that you’d promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf soirée tonight.

I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it’s true.

There are things between my hands right now that I can’t live without. You could take care of them.

You look… sexy.

Besides… the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I’m discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn’t think possible before.

How can someone so tiny by so annoying?

Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?

Not one of us had a choice. You’ve seen what it’s done… to Rosalie especially. We’ve all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won’t let it be that way for you. You will have a choice.

You aren’t going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you. When we’re through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you’re afraid. You won’t be forced into this.

It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know.

If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?

If there were any way for me to become human for you — no matter what the price was, I would pay it.

And the sound of your heart. It’s the most significant sound in my world.

You’ll always be my Bella, you’ll just be a little more durable.

If I had found you, there isn’t a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have — as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for — gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn’t have quite the same connotations.

Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into.

Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is… us?

Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs.

I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that’s not actually the case.

Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper’s been thinking about cheating — adverse as he is to the idea, he’s nothing if not practical — but he won’t suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say.

We aren’t going to change who we are.

Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him.

It’s not easy to ignore someone when he’s shouting.

I’m not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella.

But if you ever bring her back damaged again — and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head — if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?

I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.

She is mine. I didn’t say I would fight fair.

Everyone will come. They’re all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens’ mystery house.

You’re very perceptive today. It’s impressive.

Prepare yourselves — they’ve been holding out on us.

To think it’s come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!

The way you regard me is ludicrous.
 

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Updated 7th January 2008

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